The Diary of Seraphina Roxanne Lightwood-Wayland
by Seraphina Morningwood
Summary: Hey folks! Seraphina here! I was gonna wait to start this one until I finished my other stories chronologically. But then something happened. I got pregnant. Now, I'm having Jonah's baby and I find there is just so much to say that I need somewhere to say it, without having to burden my boys with all of this emotional stuff. So, here ya go! (WARNING MAJOR LEMONS!)
1. First Entry

**AN: Hey so I know I said I was going to start a diary of my current happenings after I finished all the childhood and teen years stuff. But since there are exciting things happening in our family now, I sort of don't want to wait to document them and I also find myself needing an outlet for all my thoughts and feelings. (I'm finding myself rather emotional these days.)**

* * *

Dear Diary,

Yesterday, I found out that J.R. knew about my being pregnant. I hadn't even told Jonah yet and J.R. revealed it in a poem to Jonah. I thought they would both be so mad, but it seems like everything is fine.

Today, I told mom, and she lost it on Jonah, and I felt terrible cuz I left him there to deal with that. I just couldn't face her cuz I thought she was gonna hate us for it. But I guess it's true that a mother's love is unconditional. She doesn't hate us, which is a relief.

There are so many things I want to talk to Jonah about. J.R. says he probably needs time to process and okay, I can respect that. But what about what I need? Let's put it this way, I'm scared shitless!

There's Jonah, and yes I know he loves me, but a baby! That's not something he ever signed on for. And let's not forget that he's also my brother, I mean doesn't that sometimes result in problems? So yeah, I'm scared. What if he decides it's too much responsibility? What if he decides I'm not his problem? Or that he doesn't want to be a father?

And then there's J.R. I can't even imagine how he could be feeling right now. And neither of them wants to talk. Well is it because they're processing? Because processing I can handle. If they just need time and we can talk in a few days or something then that's totally fine. But what if it turns out that this is one of those 'we're men, and men don't talk about this kind of stuff' things, then what?

Am I supposed to just go through the next five months wondering if they'll still both love me at the end of all this? Wondering if either of them will even want to be a part of this child's life?

And there are so many little things I want to ask Jonah but I'm scared he doesn't want to talk about it. You know, silly things like baby names. I just wish I had a secret little key that I could use to unlock their male brains and get inside and see what they were thinking.

Who am I kidding, it's probably just the hormones messing me up. I love my boys and I know they love me. At the end of the day, I'm sure they will still love me. And I would like to think they will both love this child. I just wish I knew all of this for sure.

\- S.R.L-W


	2. Second Entry

**(warning major lemons!)**

Dear Diary,

So last night was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I was so worried about how the boys felt, well apparently I didn't need to be. I thought this was a two sided triangle. That the connection between the two of them was just their Parabatai bond. All I can say is thankfully we live under the new rules not the old ones because I can't imagine how much harder life would have been for people before the Parabatai Law was repealed.

Anyway, I never expected things to go this way. I never expected I'd get to watch the two men I love, kissing one another in a heated frenzy. I never expected that the three of us would end up sharing the night in one bed. (side note, maybe we should buy a bigger bed?) And I never expected I'd ever hear Jonah and J.R. moaning each other's names in between moaning mine.

I also definitely got the impression that this wasn't the first time things had escalated like this between them. They seemed to know each other's bodies surprisingly well. And don't get me wrong, that's as hot as hot can be. I just wish I'd known so I hadn't worry so much about the apparently non-existent jealousy issues or any of the other pointless worrying I'd been doing.

Between the two of them, I can't even count the number of times I came last night. Everything was just one big heated frenzy and what with the stamina runes and a silence rune on the door (just in case anyone decided to drop by) we didn't even have to worry about how loud we were or how long things lasted, and believe me when I say they went _all _night.

The only thing that got me out of bed this morning was the realization that someone else was in the house. Of course it was just Sky, so I didn't have to worry. But it still woke me up. And now between an energy rune and some coffee, I think I'm gonna be up for the day.

I just can't believe how much things have changed over one night. Yesterday I was scared I could lose either of them. And now, the three of us couldn't possibly be closer. And I can honestly say that if you've never watched a man enter another man, especially when they are both someone you love very much. Well I highly recommend it cuz it was frickin hot! Plus, if you've never been DP'd, wow, just wow. I know, I'm going slightly out of order but I'm just trying to remember the highlights here.

Anyway, the whole damn night was amazing, but I'm sure if I go into too much detail, they'd kick me off of this site cuz it was just that splendidly X-rated. Sorry I can't give you more than that but to sum it up I don't think I have anything to worry about, where the boys are concerned at least, cuz believe me when I say, it's all goooooood!

-S.R.L-W.


	3. Third Entry

**AN: This is important because it introduces someone who will be around a fair bit from here on out, and given the situation, it didn't make sense to just drop him in with no explanation, so here it is. (And I thought we were done with excitement for a while now, but nope!)**

* * *

Dear Diary,

So, this morning when I rode over to Mom and Dad's manor house for a visit with them on my way to teach at the school, there was a young boy in their living room. He looked to be about twelve and had a sort of emptiness about him. As if there was nothing in his world that carried any meaning. I've seen that look before, and I know what it means. I knew what it meant for this boy too. What I didn't know was why he'd be sitting in my parent's living room. So, all I could do was ask.

"Hi Mom, Dad, and who is this?" I said, hugging each of my parents in turn and then turning my eyes toward the boy waiting for someone to introduce us. (As a side note it's good to see Dad at home because I know he's been working a lot and Mom has missed him fiercely.)

"Seraphina, this is Cole Lockleah. He was a part of the science program as a boy. His parents were recently killed in the rash of demon attacks that has been happening in New York as a result of the Blood-calling. He's going to be staying here because he has no family remaining and he at least knows us. I didn't want the Clave to have to find him a random home with strangers, especially with his talents being what they are. So we've opened our doors to him. And since he is twelve years old now, he'll also be attending Shadowhunter Academy as a first year student." Dad said.

I smiled, knowing my parents have been a little lonely in their empty house and that this would be good for them. "When do you want him to start? I'm heading to the school after this anyway, I could take him there and get him set up?" I offer.

"Yes, Sweetheart, that sounds like a fine idea. Cole, do you feel comfortable going to the school with Roxanne? She's a teacher there, and she's our daughter, and she's very reliable." Mom asked him. I could already tell she is getting attached to this boy.

"Is she the Rune girl you told me about?" He asked.

Dad smiled, "Yes, Cole, Seraphina is the one who is adept with Runes"

"Ok then, that's fine." Cole nodded.

"Good then. Now, Roxanne, you will get in touch with us if Cole has any problems?" Mom asked me.

"Of course. I'm sure he'll do just fine though. Come along Cole. We'll stop at the store on the way into town and get you outfitted with all the supplies you will need." I smiled.

* * *

And so that was how I ended up this morning, meeting our new surrogate brother and bringing an orphaned twelve year old to school. "That pony you're riding is called carrots, Cole. I'm betting she'll be your horse now." I smiled.

"Does she like to eat carrots?" He asked me.

"She does indeed." I grinned. "When you get home today you can feed her some."

He smiled then for the first time since I'd met him. "Home? I like the sound of that."


End file.
